You know what’s fun? Reading reviews of vegan-substitute products. Vegans can get pretty uppity when they want to, and it’s amusing to watch them self destruct over a veggie patty.
I typically find that, diet-wise, vegans fall into one of two categories:
The Substituter – This vegan is all about the convenience of products that don’t require extra steps and preparation. They’re also in favor of not having to give up the flavors of the omnivorous food they loved before deciding that they liked living, happy animals more. They’ll spend hours trolling the vegan food blogs, searching for that one alfredo sauce recipe that’ll fool their co-workers once and for all. Open this vegan’s fridge and you’ll be crushed by an avalanche of Boca nuggets, Gardein burgers, Chreese sauces and Silk coffee creamer. If it looks like an omni product, tastes like an omni product, but has 100% less animal suffering, this vegan will know about it.
The Meat-a-Phobe – There’s a very real possibility that this vegan became that way because they are really and truly grossed out by meat. They are the ones who will correct you when you call their creation a “burger”; it’s actually a “patty,” and as far as they’re concerned, the chasm between these two distinctions is gargantuan. You will never find them clipping coupons for Field Roast. They certainly won’t brag about how their family couldn’t tell the difference between “real” spinach & artichoke dip and the one they brought to the last party. For this vegan, it’s veggies or bust.
And here’s the funny thing about these two sects of vegans: they hate each other. Not loathe. Not dispise. HATE. They hate each other the way Jennifer Aniston hates Angelina Jolie (is that still a thing?). They hate each other the way I hate piss-poor grammar. They hate each other the way my great-grandmother used to hate Murphy Brown and all her women’s lib nonsense.
I know people from both camps. The vegans who spend hours crafting dishes that resemble nothing in the omnivore world hate the microwave-veggie-burger vegans because they consider them “lazy.” They think “Why do you even call yourself a vegan, if you’re stuffing yourself with food that might as well be meat? Why be reminded that you could be eating cow?” I’ve even heard it insinuated that vegans who depend on meat alternatives as the basis for their dishes are pretty much just vegans for show. How else could they possibly stomach (tee hee, see what I did there?) the idea of putting something that so closely resembles meat into their mouths?
On the flip-side, the new-and-improved-substitute-happy vegans are wickedly irritated by the implication by the opposition that they are “less vegan” or “bad vegans.” As far as they’re concerned a vegan choice is a vegan choice, no matter how closely it resembles its bovine, ovine or avian counterpart. At the end of the day, they’re contributing just as little to the animal suffering in the world as the “No Boca for me, thank you” vegans, so why not just cut them some slack?
Personally, I fall more on the side of The Substituter. I love my Boca Spicy Chick’n Patties as much as the next girl (probably even more. Wanna fight about it?) and I relish the opportunity craft a dish that tricks people into realizing that they don’t have to give up the comfort foods that they love just to be a vegan. That being said, does it mean that I think meat-a-phobic vegans need to grow the hell up? Absolutely not. Does it mean that I’m less of a vegan because I’m known in my circle of friends for providing food that pleases anyone in the room, regardless of dietary choice? Hell no.
At the end of the day, we’re all doing our little part to say “thanks, but no thanks” to the system which makes it money on the suffering of other living creatures. Whatever way you choose to express that choice, be it a lovingly crafted lentil loaf or mac and cheese that even your venison-loving grandfather can’t turn down, what difference does it make?
Made From Real Vegans 